My ‘outrageous’

On my day off, I went to a local hair salon and spent close to 2 hours to dye a streak of my hair green. My hair, once upon a time, used to be raven black. Now it is generously sprinkled with gray yet it took forever to bleach the natural color off that streak of hair to apply a mixture of 2 shades of green to get the fluorescent green that I wanted. I had not told my family that I was doing this. This was my ‘outrageous’. This was my getting some control over what just happened.

I am a naturalist. I had decided at the onset of graying that I will naturally let my hair go white. I was (and am) even looking forward to it. According to my hair stylist, who I love, I only have 20% of graying and still have a long way to go due to the volume and abundance of hair. Lately I have gone completely natural in my beauty regime. I have stopped using moisturizers for my face and body. I only use natural oil. My shampoo and conditioner have coconut oil. This ‘natural’ me went ahead and bleached a streak of my hair of all its natural color to apply a chemical! I am very happy with my decision although it is only the second day. At the end of this blog, I may even post a picture of my green head. But I was wondering why I did this. Why did I feel this need to go against my purist beliefs? And I deduced this was an act of gaining control. My life spun so out of control last month with such disastrous consequences that left me dumbfounded. Why did this happen to me? Why couldn’t I prevent it? Why was I so powerless? I have been restless trying to find answers to those questions. I think I am also slightly unstable in my thoughts, slightly crazy even. This silly act of coloring my hair with a ‘loud’ color is my way of manifesting my craziness and also asserting some control on my own self. I can do this. I can change the color of my hair at least. I did it.

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