Since I started working I have had less time to write. I did not jot down the “goods” this week as they happened. So writing from memory which, unfortunately, is not a reliable source anymore.
I continue to enjoy Bengali delicacies, thanks to my cousin. It has been great therapy working in the kitchen with her. She has cared for me with all her heart during my time of bereavement. We organized my closet, went for walks, cooked, cleaned, talked, remembered.
I am slowly figuring out how to maintain my affairs in Kolkata till I can get back. I am still waiting for death certificates of my parents.
I get immense joy talking to Gouri, Breshpati and Khushi every week. They loved and cared for ma, baba and when I talk to them I still get the essence of my parents.
I asked Khushi, who is in grade 1, to watch less television and read more. She read The Ugly Duckling to me and I was amazed at how well she was reading. In 2019, when I last saw her, she was just sounding out words. It is simply wonderful to watch children grow. She also did some pretty artwork and her mother vouched for her – she has cut down on screen time.
I dyed a strand of my hair fluorescent green. Sean calls it the wicked witch of the West color and I love it.
Work continues to be a place of comfort and respite from pain.
I got to eat lunch with my dearest friend at work. She lost her dad last year and we found solace in each other’s company. Sharing our grief helped.
My flowers are still radiant and my obstinate ma plant has bloomed a vibrant red again.
We celebrated Sean on Father’s day. A few years ago I had asked him what were some of his favorite things in life. He said, “Being a dad.” My children are very lucky. Sahana made breakfast and Ryan made oreo cheesecake.
I laughed at the memory of baba on this day. “Happy Father’s Day, Baba!” I wished him. He always got discombobulated at this greeting and often responded with “Hmm…same to you!” Ma yelled from the background, “Arre, thank you bolo!” (Say thank you.)
I start my mornings by staring at their gorgeous photos and trying to come to terms with reality.
Have a good week everyone.