Dog walking

Dog owners know that our dogs need to be walked rain or shine unless you have have a large yard for them to run around and do their business. For 10 years of my life, Sage kept me fit. He was a big dog and needed exercise to maintain his svelte, athletic shape so every morning he looked at me with imploring eyes – “Mama, let’s go.” Every morning we would do our usual round of two and a half miles around our neighborhood. On our daily walks we saw other dog walkers and most importantly our puppy friends. Some days the pups sniffed and played bowed, they told each other about the exciting scents and deer sightings while their humans chatted about life/work/children and boring things like that. While on other days, if we were in a hurry, we simply said a quick hello and pulled our dogs away from their friends much to their chagrin.

One of the regular dogwalkers that Sage and I saw every morning was an older couple. They walked two dogs – one was a senior golden retriever and the other was a black dog of indeterminate breed. It was clear that the black, younger dog was adopted from a shelter and the couple was trying to train him to walk without pulling as well as socialize him. The golden was calm while the younger dog was anything but. He wanted to charge at Sage every time our paths crossed. My timid Sage cowered and then walked fast to get away from the angry dog. As months went by, we noticed a huge change in the black dog as the owners worked relentlessly to get him used to other dogs. As we came within their vicinity, I saw the dad start training his guy with treats and soon the dog understood that if he saw us, he will get treats. Instead of charging at Sage, he learnt to look at his dad with expectant eyes. The mom walked the sedate and dignified golden while dad gave the younger dog treats and showered him with praise when he ignored Sage and walked briskly past him looking for treats. He progressed enough for us humans to actually exchange a few words without him lunging and barking at Sage. Sage was still fearful and did not want to sniff him but he stood by my side quietly. We continued this for years.

Then Sage died on January 31st 2020. I could not continue my walks on the route where the two of us walked so I chose another path for my daily walk. I discovered Sage’s path. I did see the couple walking their dogs as I drove by our neighborhood. Many months later, I decided to walk what used to be our usual route since Sage’s path was wet and soggy. I met the couple. They said they missed us and where was Sage? I had to tell them and saw their expressions change. I smiled at their dogs, the golden was struggling with arthritis and the black dog had some whites around his muzzle. After a few months, they were walking only one dog, the black one. I knew the golden had crossed the rainbow bridge. We said hello. I did not ask where the golden was. I walk at different times these days and often I choose Sage’s path since that is more picturesque. However, one day, I did go to the neighborhood. I saw the couple walking without any dogs. I did not assume their dog was gone. I figured he was home. But I have seen them walk just by themselves on multiple occasions without their buddy. I think he too has crossed the rainbow bridge.

The couple seem incomplete without their companion. I bet they felt the same way about me when they saw me walk without my shadow too. It made me sad. Dogs are such incredible gifts to us but they come to us for such a short time.

I am getting ready to open my heart to another four legged child. Sean and I both are somewhat ready but when we do bring one home, I want to be there for the pup. Right now most of our time is spent outside the house and that is not fair to a new dog. One day, I hope we will be blessed to have that unconditional love in our lives yet again. I think back on the ten years we had with Sage and my heart fills with such a warm feeling. I think we all are better people because Sage came in our lives.

The transformation.

When I make my husband sit down and read this blog at gun point, he will be mortified that I shared some of his deepest secrets with the world. But share I must because those moments and secrets are very tender and when we are both old and Sage is just a memory, we can look back at this and remember the unconditional and uncomplicated love he generously gave us.

To put it very stereotypically, Sean was the quintessential male who was getting a dog. Just before Sage came to us at 8 weeks, he would make arbitrary comments like ‘a dog is just that, a pet! I find it funny when people make it their children. They humanize them! That is ridiculous!’ He doesn’t come from necessarily a dog loving family, although they owned a dog when he was growing up. He dog sat for friends, but as a dog owner, he was a newbie. I heard him and stayed silent, not knowing what kind of owner he would turn out to be. Of one thing, I was certain, he wasn’t going to be an unkind one. I read up zillion books on puppies, dog training, dog ailments, fictional dog stories. I went back to my childhood favorite James Herriot. I rented Marley and Me to watch with the kids (and then did a lot of explaining to 4 year old Ryan – as Marley’s owners tried to conceive a baby) ! Finally, after thanksgiving, Sage was ready to come to us.

As Sage walked into our house diffidently, the three of us – my two children and I melted like ice cream on a hot summer day. Sean kept his distance so as not to ‘overwhelm’ the puppy. Finally, when he uttered ‘Hi there big guy!’ Sage looked up at the big, tall human, heard his deep voice, promptly rolled over on his back and presented his belly in complete submission. That continued for quite some time. A sighting of Sean and bam – tummy side up, little paws kicking in the air in total submission. I am sure the first few nights, Sean silently questioned our decision of bringing a puppy in the family. Sage squealed and cried and wanted the furry comfort of his mommy. I was a poor substitute. I carried his crate to the guest room, put it right next to the bed, let one of my arms dangle where he could sniff my fingers. That seemed to calm him. We both caught a few winks that way for about a week, till Sage started sleeping through the night.

The first few months were fun and frustrating. There were chewed furniture, there were accidents, there were sock stealing and sharp puppy teeth. Sean was loving but firm. And Sage was still….a dog, a pet. Then one fine morning, we decided to take our 8 month old scared dog to a dog park in an attempt to socialize him. It was a disaster from the start. Sage stood by us, tail between his legs, literally shaking. Sometimes he would peek his little nose to take a sniff and retreat quickly when another dog came by to say hello. In the meantime, a German Shepherd and a huge Mastiff mix got into a terrible fight resulting in a ripped ear and a bite on one of the owner’s arm. While this chaos ensued, we tried to make a hasty retreat. But Sean was apprehended by a pit bull who cornered the poor guy and started barking viciously at him. A transformation happened before my eyes. The runt of the litter, our scared puppy launched himself between the pit bull and his human. He didn’t bark back but he stood his ground and protected his ‘dad’. The owner of the pit bull ran up, apologizing profusely. The dog didn’t like people standing in front of a chain link fence. Sean was doing just that, it was ‘nothing personal’. We left, and needless to say, never went back to that particular dog park.

The relationship, however, between the dog and the man changed. I don’t know if I attribute the change towards that particular incident or the charm that Sage naturally possesses and it was simply a matter of time. All I can say, I witnessed a change in words and demeanor. Gone was the ‘pet’ owner, instead ‘dad’ took over. I overheard mumblings like ‘you are my boy! you are my good boy! Aren’t you my good boy?” as Sage’s belly got rubbed. Ryan was chastised with ‘leave your brother alone’ when he was too rough with the pup. I was found thus, “Go find your mummy! Where’s is your mummy, Sage?”

Today Sean is most certainly the prefered parent as he is the one responsible for walks, runs and playtime. Mom is the one responsible for heartworm pills, flea medication, and dreaded baths. As I see Sean walk around the yard, trimming bushes, sweeping the driveway, I know his white shadow is not far behind. Sage follows him with adoring gaze and a heart full of love. When Sean comes home, he waits patiently for his dad to get out of work clothes before he claims his share of attention. After the initial romp, those two are joined at the hip. Sage silently pads along with Sean, and flops down with a sigh where ever Sean settles. Often times the long snout peeks in through Sean’s hands to investigate the laptop dad is working on. Sean gives an absent-minded patting on his head, and Sage just disintegrates in happiness. He smiles widely, settles down at Sean’s feet, closes his eyes and lets out a sigh of contentment. As long his favorite man is by his side, all is right with the world. They play, run, converse or just commune silently. The mutual giving is a thing of beauty for me to witness. The adoration and the love are precious. Sage came into our lives for a reason, I know. He teaches us to love selflessly, without holding back.

Elton John wrote ‘Your Song’ for the love of his life. I hope he won’t mind if I use just a couple of his lines for both my son with four legs and his human dad because life is indeed wonderful since they are in the world. I don’t know whether humanizing an animal is good or bad, all I know that Sage has added immeasurable value to our lives. His patience, perseverance, unconditional love enrich our lives. In our tumultuous google calendar dictated life, he provides the gentle shade where we come to relax, and unwind. His non judgemental, loving presence is our comfort. Sean transformed from a dog owner to a daddy. I am not surprised. How can one not, when one is given unadulterated adoration for no reason other than simply being, just existing!

Wild things…

First snow of the season in 2012! The boy and the dog couldn’t wait to get outside. The boy bundled up and called the dog to follow. I captured two happy souls and some happy moments in my camera!

Ryan believes Sage will outlive him. He will designate somebody to take care of Sage when his time finally comes. We tried to tell him, dogs don’t live that long. The thought brought tears, so we let it rest. I hope when he is a grown man, looking back upon his childhood, he will remember these happy times he spent with a big, yellow dog by his side.