Best of both the worlds.

I have made a resolution that I will see the glass half full from now on.  No more of the Eeyore attitude for me. I haven’t complained about the winter this year, not once. The fact that this was the mildest winter ever, is beside the point. So when I threaten Ryan that he won’t be taken to his basketball game till he writes one page of his journal and threaten Sahana to confiscate the Complete Works of Jane Austen if she doesn’t go outside the house for an hour, I tell myself I get to experience the best of both the worlds. The fact that Ryan writes three lines and fills the page with illustration and that Sahana goes outside and blows dandelion seeds all over the yard instead of running and getting some exercise is also beside the point.

Sahana is a natural athlete who doesn’t care for activities that take her away from her books. Her punishment for bad behavior is taking away her reading privilege for an evening. She got in trouble for reading in class while the teacher was teaching. She got in trouble with her parents on numerous ocassions for not responding when called or for ignoring her chores because she was lost in a book. Her friends tell me Sahana walks the halls of school with her nose in a book. Her media
teacher, upon hearing I was Sahana’s mother said, ‘Oh, Sahana!!! She doesn’t just read, she devours books!’

Ryan eats, sleeps and dreams sports. He is worried what his decision is going to be when BOTH pro football and pro baseball teams come to recruit him. He took pity on his anti football mother and said he will ultimately choose baseball, that is after winning gold medals in swimming in the Olympics. He rushes through his homework so he gets ten minutes to throw the ball around before he goes for swim practice. He gets one of his sporting activities taken away if he doesn’t read a book or doesn’t write a few sentences. I sigh when I think I had once complained about Sahana’s reading habits. But, since I am done being an Eeyore, I tell myself these two show me the world from both sides of the spectrum. I am actually lucky!

I often hear from people that both my kids are really good, polite, respectful. While I thank them profusely for their kind words, I wonder in my mind why do I not see what the outside world sees, what am I missing? I know, in my heart, they are good kids but they bring out the worst in each other. I worry how their relationship will be when they grow up. Being an only child, I don’t feel I fully understand the sibling relationship. But again, since I am done being Eeyore I focus on the moments when Ryan uses up all his good behavior stamps in school to ‘buy’ two gifts for his sister and one gift for himself, and Sahana saves the last slice of pizza so Ryan can have the leftover the next day. I recently read a book called ‘Get out of my life but could you drive Cheryl and me to the mall first?’ by Anthony Wolfe where he says chances are your child is going to grow up to be the kind of adult that the world percieves him/her now. If that is true, my children will be all right. I am taking that argument and running with it. As I said, I am an Eeyore no more.

8 thoughts on “Best of both the worlds.

  1. I think every parent wonders what the relationship will be between their kids. And every parent worries about it as well. I know I do. But I tell myself the following:

    1) Rob and I both have good relationships with our siblings and our kids know it. They see it and hear that while we fought with our siblings when we were younger, they are our family and we want and need them so much when we are older.

    2) They love the relationship they have with their cousins and we talk about how great it will be for *their* kids to be playing together one day- and I can see them envisioning it too.

    3) When one of the sibs is really upset or angry because someone OUTSIDE the family was nasty or cruel, the others are ready to take that kid OUT. When the chips are down, they have each others’ backs, always.

    And then I pray a lot!


  2. Sean grew up with 5 siblings and shares a wonderful relationship. He assures me their fights are normal and part of growing up together. They will laugh over these memories one day, as he does with his siblings. And as you say, Leeaan, they’ve got each other’s back. Love seeing that:)!


  3. Another interesting & very well written piece, from u! U’ve got great kids, they’ll always be there for each other & u’ll continue to enjoy the best of both the worlds, so no worries there Madammommy:-)


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