The “goods” in the week of July 5th.

I discovered cooking with bereshta – fried onions, which I get from Indian grocery store. I bought a bag to sprinkle some on biriyani. There was a lot left. My very clever cousin gave me the idea of using it to cook gravy for chicken, paneer, dal instead of chopping onions and crying a sea of tears. Since I have been crying a sea of tears without chopping raw onions, I did not need extra help. On Monday, July 5th, I cooked a 5 course Indian meal for the week without chopping a single onion. I list that as one of my “goods”. Cooking is a release for me. It is relaxing and yes, meditative.

Sean and I walked around a lake near us. It was a gorgeous evening and the lakefront was alive with laughter, children, music and family.

A friend at work lent me her ear and a shoulder.

From some moments being better than others, some days are better than others.

I discovered a beautiful bracelet on my work desk. A coworker, who has become my adoptive brother saw the bracelet, thought of me and bought it for me. The love that I receive regularly keeps me afloat. The bracelet is lovely and matches my green hair but the thought behind it is priceless.

At work, I discussed some good reads with a fellow bibliophile – a rising 4th grader. She asked for some suggestions. When I told her about some of the books that I enjoyed, her mother said to her, “Aren’t librarians wonderful?” And she replied,”Yes!” The library is buzzing with young readers asking for books. It makes my heart glad to see such enthusiasm for reading in our next generation.

Sean and I continue to go for our walks. Today I spoke about how I am doing during our entire walk. He listened and made comments that were helpful. He is a big part of the healing process along with Sahana’s care and Ryan’s goofiness.

All four of us went to an Indian fusion restaurant near us. I ordered a samosa chat pizza and it was interesting as well as delicious.

My elementary school friend came over to see me after hearing about my loss. We met after 18 years!

2 months ago, ma died on this day. To mark the day, obstinate ma plant developed some new blooms. I thought of her a lot and laughed at some memories when I called home to talk to Gouri, Breshpati and Khushi.

Khushi wants to be a teacher when she grows up.

Ryan dropped over 30 seconds in his 400 IM event and over 23 seconds in his 200 fly event in this weekend’s swim meet. I mention this in my “goods” only because the kid was so stressed about his performance before the meet and after the meet his shoulders relaxed. That made me happy.

We go back full time to the library from July 12th. It will be a change and although I know I will be tired, I am looking forward to it. I have said this before that strangely enough, I get this illusion of my life being unchanged when I am at work.

I hope you all have a good week and your list of “goods” is long.

Jealousy strikes

The baser instict is bubbling up within me. The green eyed monster is raising its ugly head in the inner recesses of my heart. I can feel its presence every time a relatively young, healthy person posts a photo of himself/herself getting a Covid vaccination shot. The good in me is preaching patience, perseverence, waiting for my turn at getting vaccinated, the evil in me is whispering “jump the line, look s/he did, so why not you? Once you get your vaccination you can get on that plane and go see your parents. Do it.”

I am having a difficult time suppressing the jealousy. The lure of seeing my parents is so great yet I know I will not jump the line. The rule follower in me will continue to follow the rules. And I will continue to be jealous of all those who are getting the vaccine and planning to go see their loved ones or going back to work… educating our children. I know, I know they should be ahead in line but I will continue to be…..wistful. Now, that’s a better word than jealousy.

That is it. This blog is about vaccination envy. 🙄