girl power – whatmamathinks

I may have written this in some of my previous blogs that both my kids are braggarts. If I wanted to phrase it nicely, I would say neither of my kids have any issues with self-esteem. They both consider themselves the most wondrous things after sliced bread. And since I am their mother and hence responsible for making them presentable to the society, I tell them ‘Don’t say you are awesome. Let the world say it!’ I haven’t had much success in imparting that wisdom to either of them.

So when Ryan comes home and brags about wining the pacer test at Physical Education class, or shooting a good soccer shot at recess or running laps or whatever related to physical activity, I absent-mindedly say, ‘Uh huh, uh huh! What did you learn in class today?’ The conversation kind of dies away right there 🙂 !

Yesterday, I paid attention. He came home elated.

‘Mom!!! Guess what??? I BEAT THE GIRLS AT TRUNK LIFT!! I beat the GIRLS!! Can you believe it?’

I looked up to see if the exclamation was in disdain, but it was not! He was thrilled and happy. He went on to explain:

‘You know how strong the girls are, right? Their cores are so strong because they are all about gymnastics. I beat them in the trunk lift!’

My smile spread to my entire face. It was his birthday, yet he gave ME a gift. The gift of his respect for physical prowess irrespective of gender. In today’s age when we still hear derogatory ‘runs like a girl’, ‘throws like a girl’, Ryan was thrilled to beat the girls. It was a major achievement because, you know, those girls are strong!! They are unbeatable!

I paid attention and congratulated him. I also congratulated myself, my husband but most importantly Ryan’s strong big sister who teaches him every day girls are smart, girls are athletic, girls are equal. To be able to beat a girl is an occasion to celebrate. I also congratulated the little girls who Ryan competed against. Grow up strong, girls. Show the world you are unbeatable! And if a boy beats you, he better rejoice and savor his win because you gave him the competition of his life and who knows how hard the next win is going to be.

I can see gender inequality really upsets Ryan. Actually social injustices upset him. He was horrified to hear stories about caste system when we started reading Mahabharat. Sahana recently worked on a project on female feticide in India. During her research for her assignment she shared a lot of unpleasant yet true information about injustice done to a girl child. Ryan was a silent listener. But her words and facts made an impact on his young mind. And I see his brain whirring to find a ‘why’!

Since a very early age, he has been a champion for women/girls. Derogatory comments about girls by his male peers were deflected with ‘Girls are great!’ And my favorite, the irrefutable logic – ‘Your mom is a girl. She is not dumb, she is wonderful!’

I believe he has such respect for girls because he is growing up with his sister – a strong willed, intelligent, funny girl who puts him in his place, pins him down in wrestling matches, shouts at him when she is mad, helps him with his homework, stands up for him in playgrounds, cooks him food in his parents’ absence and laughs hysterically with him while watching funny Youtube videos. He looks up to her for her smarts, her knowledge about authors, movies, current bands, completely inane and unnecessary yet very fun facts. I have heard him say to friends, ‘My sister told me this. She is very smart. She is in high school.’

Hence, he does not understand why women would be considered inferior or unwanted. Whether he admits it or not, his sister is his hero! I think the gender inequality makes him angry because in some oblique way, it is a statement against his hero – his sister!

While doing math homework, he put his pencil down and looked me in the eye.

‘I just thought of something. I know why only women can have babies and not men!’

I wondered if we are sliding into uncharted territories.

“God had foreseen that men would eventually tell women they are inferior, not equal and be cruel to them. So God gave a superpower to women. He gave only them the power to have babies. So when men say ‘you don’t have power’, the women can say ‘oh yeah? Well, you go and have babies then!’ ”

I have said before his religiosity is very innocent and beautiful. He wants a world where everyone would acknowledge everyone else’s idea of God and live peacefully forever.

In God’s world there should be no inequality. God is the ultimate parent who thought of everything before sending the living beings to earth.

His logic may not be foolproof but his thoughts are so sweet that I do not go into deep theological discourses. He will, one day, think things through. I simply write down these bits and pieces of conversations, which are of no value to anybody, but me. I have learnt one thing from all the meaningful conversations I have had with both my children – simple, honest truth is just that, simple and honest.