Light But Not Fluffy book club

There was a time in my life, not too long ago, when my brain rebelled against deep, thought provoking books. I grew up with the message from my teachers and extended family that one should not fill up one’s mind with irrelevant things. One should always read unabridged classics, books on history, science, philosophy. Books that will enlighten, inspire, expand your knowledge. In other words, read with a purpose. So I savored my Amar Chitra Kathas, comic books, Mills and Boons romances in secret – away from public eyes. Fortunately, my mother did not care what I read. I also had a couple of fabulous teachers who introduced me to poetry and prose that broadened my horizon, taught me how to think, enjoy, and appreciate written words. When I went to college to study English, I met very well read peers. They helped me with my reading too. I read serious, thought provoking books to keep up with the conversation, to show off and yes, to enrich my mind. Even as an adult, I read to learn something. I read to escape, empathize, decipher and of course, be entertained. I was and still am a fan of literary fiction.

Then Covid ravaged the world and my life. During those difficult days, I picked up literary fictions only to put them down again. I think I experienced the biggest reading slump that I have ever experienced in my life during Covid and especially after my parents died. One day, I picked up a lighter book and found myself turning the pages. I think the book was The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman. I finished the book in two sittings, enjoyed the story and thought about it for a while. The book was funny, well-written, and most importantly, hopeful. It was a romance but it was more than the formulaic romance that I used to read at age 16. I started reading more books that were light but full of of grace and hope. I wondered if there were people out there who have had enough of angst and sadness. We could get plenty of those if we opened the newspaper or turned on the news channels on television. I wondered if I could gather some people together to read and discuss lighter books in a book club. The caveat being the books needed to be uplifting, hopeful, and meaningful enough to generate conversation.

My bosses at work were willing to let me try out a book club like this. I gave myself 6 months and decided that if nobody came to the book club, I would move on to something else. My supervisor encouraged me to go for it so I did. On March 16, 2023, Light But Not Fluffy book club was born. Within the first 2 weeks of opening up registration for this book club, all the spots were filled and people kept calling to register. We opened with 18 people.

It has been a year now that we have been meeting. The book club has grown even larger. We range from 20 to 23. I have been facilitating book clubs for the last 8 years now and my mantra for facilitation is ‘be a guide, not a hero’. I ask a question and let the conversation grow organically without too much input from me. I am comfortable with silence (silence that neither of my book clubs have very much). I think silence is important to let people collect their thoughts. I watch out for interruptions and make sure everyone gets a chance to speak. Some want to listen and I respect that too. I was a little apprehensive at the beginning with such a big group that people will break out into private conversations and I will have to be that facilitator who has to bring the house to pay attention to the speaker. But the ladies who joined me never did that. Each one of them is respectful, attentive, and willing to listen. They are never shy to offer their opinion. They don’t always agree but they listen. What more could a facilitator ask for? We came together for the conversation and we stayed for the laughter.

Today is the birth month of Light But Not Fluffy book club. This book club is special to me for a couple of reasons. First, it came at a time when I was very sad and did not know how to get out of the quagmire of grief. Books helped. The hope that books provided and the people who gathered to talk about such books helped. The laughter helped. Second, in our endeavor to teach at the library, we sometimes forget about fun. This book club is just for entertainment. And that is all we get out of this book club apart from a camaraderie of strong, opinionated, and fun people. Perhaps we come away with some new thoughts about the book or life in general. We learn a bit about each other too. No research of the setting or culture or author is done in this book club. We simply read the story and talk about how the story made us feel, what did the characters do, did the plot make sense, what are the anomalies?

So happy birthday, book club. May there be years and years of laughter ahead, may there be hope, may there be grace, and yes, also snark. What is life without a little snark?

If you want to use any of these books for your book club, here is a list of all the books that we have read this year:

The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman

Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes

The Kitchen Front by Jennifer Ryan

One Plus One by Jojo Moyes

Dear Mrs. Bird by A. J Pearce

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

The Hired Girl by Laura Schlitz

Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn

The Story of Arthur Truluv by Elizabeth Berg

Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus

We pivoted.

Last year was very different in terms of the service our library provided due to pandemic. Our branches closed in mid march and we pivoted to online classes within 3 weeks or so. And I had to facilitate my book club – online – via WebEx. I was terrified. New platform, new way of doing things, my very old, tired Chromebook, unknown technology….. recipe for disaster. I am a chicken and I was ready to throw in the towel. My boss said, ‘Just give it a shot. You can do it.’ My intrepid co facilitator said ‘Lets do this.’ My friend from work gave me confidence – “Think of what you will be doing for the community. They will be happy to see you providing their familiar platform in this uncertain time.” I timidly said, ‘okay.’ So I did it. I learnt how to navigate WebEx, sent out invitations to the participants. I pivoted. Many of my coworkers pivoted with confidence, I pivoted kicking and screaming.

On the evening of the book club, several of the participants joined. My old yet faithful Chromebook did not fail me. My co facilitator failed to show up though. I texted her in desperation, “They are all here. where are you?” She said, “I am trying, I can not get on!” I smiled on camera, while in my head a mantra played out, “This is gonna be a disaster! This is gonna be a disaster!” Lastly, I held my phone on speaker near my laptop with my friend on the phone, co facilitating with me. It was not perfect by any means but we were ‘together’ somehow. At the beginning of the session, I could not focus on what book club members were saying as I tried to hold the phone up, check my questions that I had painstakingly prepared, tried to make eye contact with pixelated figures on my screen. There were echoes when someone spoke, we fumbled on our end trying to figure out how to minimize the echo and finally muted ourselves. But before I knew it, I was enjoying myself. And basking in my ability to conduct a virtual book club while holding a speaker phone up so my co facilitator could participate. The participants seemed relieved to be able to talk about books – a constant, in such turbulent times. And they were thankful that we arranged this ‘meeting’. They were relieved that we planned to continue to meet each month. For some, that was their constant during those times. While everything was shut down, they could read a book and talk about a different world, different set of characters. They could escape from their pandemic ridden world with fellow bibliophiles.

That was back in April 2020. Now I love our virtual book club discussions. From a free WebEx account our library got licenses for wonderful Zoom accounts. The connections are great for the most part. I feel so much more comfortable with the technology. I can not believe I was so fearful of this new way of doing things – pivoting, a year ago. Since my book club meetings are in the evening, I throw on a pretty sweater over my pajamas, put on some earrings, light make up and voila! I am ready to roll…. I mean, have literary discussion.

While I do miss face to face discussions, I have noticed through our various virtual classes that participants with limited mobility can join us. Participants who do not have child care can join us. I have changed my mind about virtual classes – they are more inclusive in a way. There are folks who do not have the luxury of owning a computer, smart phone or tablet and eventually in person classes will start when it is safe, but I hope some of these virtual classes will continue to give equal access to all.

Office space

As we stood side by side preparing our quick lunch in the kitchen on a work-from-home day, I casually mentioned to Sean that I will be needing the office space that night from 6:45 till 8:00 pm as I was co producing a virtual class for the library.

“Oh no!! I have a virtual cocktail meet with big donors where I am presenting and answering questions!” he exclaimed. And looked at me with I-am-so-sorry eyes.

We really don’t have an office space in our house. There is a little office room which we transferred into nursery when we moved in as I was pregnant with Ryan. After spending all his infancy, babyhood, boyhood years in that little room Ryan finally took over Sahana’s room after she went to college. Sahana beautifully rearranged Ryan’s former (tiny) room and settled in it when she came back home due to the pandemic. It has a cozy dorm room feeling to it, complete with color changing lights.

Over the years, all our ‘office’ work and school work were done on the kitchen table. We did not feel the need for an office since I work for the library system and Sean travels all around the world for his job. The little time we had after our respective jobs was spent on carting children to soccer, basketball, music, swim practices and meets. Once the pandemic hit and we pivoted to online work we realized we were in trouble and we also realized as a family that Sean is a very loud office mate.

During pandemic, I took many trainings while we waited for the library system to resume service, facilitated book club and had to meet with co workers virtually. I often found myself glaring at Sean, who also met with his colleagues virtually and rather loudly. As he gained steam and got excited about whatever they were discussing, the decibel level increased. I often glared at him and huffed off with my computer on mute to the bedroom and shut the door. More than once I was either asked by colleagues if I was on my bed and if planned on falling asleep 😃 ! After both our meetings, Sean asked, “Was I too loud? I am sorry!” The next time our meetings conflicted, he would start off with normal voice and then predictably grew louder and louder as his meeting progressed.

As months went by, Sean started bringing his office into our home. It started innocently enough! A big ring light came for his zoom meetings, then huge banners of his organization were delivered to set up as back drop. The last straw was all the photos that he had on the walls of his office came home with him one day along with the bowls he used at work and silverware. He then took a very handy desk from our main floor which held all my electronics, laptop and devices, and took it downstairs to the basement and set up a nice office space with the ring light for zoom meetings. My stuff were relegated to a small white table.

When I saw the neatly set up office space, I rubbed my hands in glee, immediately planning to usurp it whenever I had classes to teach or facilitate. My classes are generally in the evening so I figured they will not coincide with Sean’s meetings since those are primarily during day time. Win, win! Or so I thought. The first day I decided to stake my claim on his hard work, he had a cocktail meeting. Who has cocktail meeting during virtual work? What is the point of that? Sean does not even drink!

Sahana happened to be in the kitchen when we were having the conversation of our meeting conflict. She decided to be helpful and made a comment. Big mistake! I jumped on her right away.

“Can I use your room then?” I turned to her with bright eyes. She had a lovely set up for her online classes.

Although she was taken aback, she agreed and I found her room nicely cleaned, all ready for me once I got back from work. The class worked out beautifully. I did make Sean feel bad about the conflict, admittedly unfairly and he relinquished the office to me for my next class while he took phone calls from all over the world upstairs, next to the children’s bedrooms where they were trying to attend virtual classes. And he was, as usual, loud.

This morning was beautiful and Sean was talking to his colleagues over phone on our back deck. I saw that he finally met his match. A blue jay flew close by, settled on a branch near him and proceeded to tell Sean, in no uncertain terms, that s/he can beat him hands down in volume any day. Its on! Sean became louder by the minute and the blue jay kept pace. As I heard the competition between bird and human, I smiled. Situation is less than perfect in so many homes. We need to find whatever humor there is, we need to laugh, we need to give, we need to share, sometimes office space even. We need humor to get by.

Show grace, let us all show grace.